Peter Griffin’s Hurt Knee

My journey to 2 Dudes And A NES was no walk in the park, it was an arduous journey that would make Homer’s Odyssey look like a play date at Chuck E. Cheese. Actually, that’s pretty dangerous too now that I think of it, all those kids, the germs, the cheese, creepy mascots and terrible arcade games that are no real fun at all. My point is that I am grateful to be here among you, because somehow the great retro video game gods in the sky, just to the left of where Rob Luther stores his endless supply of spin brushes and Crest 3D whitening strips it was decided that I would come here, to grace you all with nonsensical shenanigans that make you stand up, cheer, and perhaps even do an interpretative dance in response to a song that doesn’t even have a dance for it. Would you like a suggestion? Ace Of Base’s “I Saw The Sign” because pointing to a sign and acting like you have to pee sounds pretty simple to me.

Hmm, maybe there already was an Ace Of Base created interpretive dance?

Let’s say, however, that you’re not as crafty, cunning, and elusive as your favorite Retro Junkies scribe? Perhaps on your journey here to the 2 Dudes And A NES website you encounter an enemy so awful, so vile, you’d almost think they were designed with the failure of your journey in mind. Such is the case for one Peter Griffin should he be placed in a world similar to that of the NES classic, Kung Fu. Some of you may be wondering why such a place would be considered dangerous for a man who has definitely had his share of battles and won so many of them in his time on Family Guy. Well, because there is one enemy in Kung Fu who isn’t looking to just inflict pain and punishment to you on an ordinary, mundane level. He is a man who is looking to hit you directly in the kneecap with his random stick of doom, and if you’re Peter Griffin, having a good day, singing “Bird Is The Word” you’re not thinking that around the corner could be the end to your good day, leaving you on the ground looking something like this and sounding like, well if you follow the show you know the sound Peter makes when he gets hit in the knee. It’s not pretty, folks, but random stick of doom guy doesn’t care.

I feel your pain, Peter.

I’d like to take this a step further and say not only do I really love the picture of Peter Griffin holding his knee, I REALLY love the fact that this vile villain could have made the choice to attack any limb on your character’s body, but chose to focus on the knees, which is just sound strategy as far as I’m concerned. Oh, and don’t go spouting all this nonsense that the attack is cheap because your character is the same goofy guy using sweeps against people who are just trying to do a poorly choreographed conga line. Don’t deny it, generic Kung Fu guy, there’s plenty of photographic evidence out there on Google to support my theory. If Tito from Rocket Power were here, he’d say something about how the Ancient Hawaiians once said something about coconuts, birds, and sun tan lotion in regards to how if you kick poorly organized dancers in the shin, you will in turn get clubbed, Big Boss Man style, in the knee.

Trust me, The Big Boss Man doesn’t care either..nor do his sunglasses.

If you don’t think there’s karma in video games, I suggest you take a closer look. Just don’t get too close if you value your right or left patella.

HAHAHAHA, I HIT YOU IN KNEE, THEN HEAD, MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE ELVIS..FAT ELVIS!